What "Church" is Missing.
I trust most of my readers have seen the old church sign that says something along the lines of, "Ch ch. What's missing? U R." This sign is as cheesy as nachos (kinda like that pun), but I have my doubts as to it's efficacy in getting people to attend- much less continue to attend a particular church.
Different churches face evangelism in different ways and I would venture to guess that most are at a loss to figure out how to do so effectively. I personally have come to the conclusion that it is less a matter of technique and more a matter of heart (like most things). But lets think past evangelism for a moment and figure out how you KEEP someone coming once they've made it there.
Hospitality. Now, in the midst of a post about "church" that word probably brings to mind certain ideas. Perhaps you think of "door greeters" who tell everyone "hello" as they walk in the door on Sunday morning. Perhaps you think of writing notes to those who have visited your church (provided, of course, that they have filled out the attendance card as instructed!). While these things (and more) fit under the umbrella of "hospitality," there is so much more to it than that.
Our family shows up, gets the car parked, and makes our way in the door. We hear the greeter tell the people ahead of us, "Hey! It's great to see you, we're so glad you're here today!" When we make our way to the door the greeter says to us, "Hey! It's great to see you, we're so glad you're here today!" Are you getting the impression that this greeting may be less than genuine? I usually do get that impression, because it wouldn't matter who I was, I would get the same greeting. We find our way to the children's classes and figure out how to get them "checked in" (By the way- some of you have very complicated processes for checking kids in! When even the people who are standing by to help out with the process can't figure the system out, perhaps that means you should consider a simpler system!).
After the kids are checked in and dropped off, my husband and I go about figuring out where we need to be. Usually we sit down in some kind of auditorium or sanctuary a few minutes early. We read through the worship guide or bulletin that was passed out at the door, and we talk to each other. Then worship begins. Usually at some point we are asked to fill out an attendance card. Admittedly it is rare that I do so, either because of pure laziness or because I don't have or can't find a pen (hint: If you want to take away a person's excuse to fill these out then make sure there are pens readily accessible and don't make them rip it out of a worship guide... it stinks to have to make all that noise while ripping it out and feel like everyone is looking at you! But remember that they may still be left with pure laziness.)
After service, we walk back to where the kids are, pick them up and walk back to the car and LEAVE. Do you notice the problem? Someone with an unknown amount of knowledge of (or interest in) GOD, Christianity, the Bible, your church, etc. just walked into your church, got preached at and then left. They talked to no one except the door greeter who gave them the standard greeting and maybe their kid's Sunday School teachers (assuming they have kids). If they came back, you might never realize it... and if they never came back it's almost certain you would never realize it.
Now, I don't mean that you say, "Hi, how are you?" to one new person and leave it at that. I mean that you genuinely try to get to know them. "Hi, how are you?" is a fine place to start, but don't leave it there. And don't play the introduction game. You know, the one where you say, "Hi, my name is Bob." then wait for them to say their name, shake hands and say, "good to meet you." and walk away. Learning their name, while helpful, doesn't count if that is all you do.
What I mean is really take an interest in this person, this stranger, who is here on your home turf. If someone walked into your home you wouldn't say, "Hi, how are you?" and walk away. You would want to know more about who they were and why they were there! Do the same at your church home! Spend a little time getting to know them. Too much and you risk getting "pushy", too little and they may find no reason to return. But learn their name. Find out where they live. Where they work. What they do. Why they're there. Tell them a little (A LITTLE) about yourself and your family. Invite them to your house for lunch (or dinner). Serve Fillet Mignon or serve cold sandwiches! This is about getting to know someone, NOT entertaining! If your home isn't perfectly spotless it will probably just make you seem more "real" and approachable. Invite them OUT for lunch (dutch treat OR your treat). They'll generally tell you if they can't afford it or just don't want to or have other plans and then you can go to plan B or just leave it at, "Maybe next time!" If you really can't do lunch with them, then just spend 10 minutes or so getting to know them... and try to remember!
And if they find their way back within the next month or so, don't worry about the fact that you can't remember their first name(s). Just say, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name(s), mine is____." Ask them how they are doing. Tell them you are glad to see them back. Ask about specific things they told you last time.
Understand that these may be "unbelievers." Understand that they may not believe the same things you do and that they may have some ideas that, to you, seem strange or flat out wrong. That does not make them less human and that doesn't mean GOD loves them any less. They should never hear judgement from you. They should never hear condemnation. You will preach by your lifestyle (like you do all week long at work or school, or wherever you spend your days) and when you have built a real relationship you will better be able to discuss these topics from a place of genuine love and care.
And from a believer's perspective- If ever I walked into a church and people treated me the way I've just outlined- I would be fairly certain I'd found my new church home and would strive to build relationships within that church and also with visitors to my new home.
What about you? When was the last time you were "Church shopping?" What do you think you would want to experience if you went to a new church?
And finally I'll leave you with this though from Hebrews 13:
"1 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it."
-Pensive Kayla
Different churches face evangelism in different ways and I would venture to guess that most are at a loss to figure out how to do so effectively. I personally have come to the conclusion that it is less a matter of technique and more a matter of heart (like most things). But lets think past evangelism for a moment and figure out how you KEEP someone coming once they've made it there.
What we're missing
My husband and I have started "church shopping" in our area after attending the same congregation for almost 9 years. We are happy at the church we've been attending, but have moved further away from it than we were when we started out. We've decided that it would be easier to build relationships at a church a little closer to home. In a huge way it is heartbreaking for me to be leaving this church for another one. I keep going back and forth on whether this is really what we want to do. We're comfortable where we are, and while we don't know a lot of people there, we genuinely love the ones we do know. In the midst of this struggle and our visiting other churches, I'm learning some things about what (I think) "Church" is missing.Hospitality. Now, in the midst of a post about "church" that word probably brings to mind certain ideas. Perhaps you think of "door greeters" who tell everyone "hello" as they walk in the door on Sunday morning. Perhaps you think of writing notes to those who have visited your church (provided, of course, that they have filled out the attendance card as instructed!). While these things (and more) fit under the umbrella of "hospitality," there is so much more to it than that.
A typical church experience
Let me explain by telling you what my typical experience at a new church has been. Remember that the people there usually do not know me from any other person, so the experience I have would generally be the same as any other believer or, perhaps more importantly, NON-BELIEVER.Our family shows up, gets the car parked, and makes our way in the door. We hear the greeter tell the people ahead of us, "Hey! It's great to see you, we're so glad you're here today!" When we make our way to the door the greeter says to us, "Hey! It's great to see you, we're so glad you're here today!" Are you getting the impression that this greeting may be less than genuine? I usually do get that impression, because it wouldn't matter who I was, I would get the same greeting. We find our way to the children's classes and figure out how to get them "checked in" (By the way- some of you have very complicated processes for checking kids in! When even the people who are standing by to help out with the process can't figure the system out, perhaps that means you should consider a simpler system!).
After the kids are checked in and dropped off, my husband and I go about figuring out where we need to be. Usually we sit down in some kind of auditorium or sanctuary a few minutes early. We read through the worship guide or bulletin that was passed out at the door, and we talk to each other. Then worship begins. Usually at some point we are asked to fill out an attendance card. Admittedly it is rare that I do so, either because of pure laziness or because I don't have or can't find a pen (hint: If you want to take away a person's excuse to fill these out then make sure there are pens readily accessible and don't make them rip it out of a worship guide... it stinks to have to make all that noise while ripping it out and feel like everyone is looking at you! But remember that they may still be left with pure laziness.)
After service, we walk back to where the kids are, pick them up and walk back to the car and LEAVE. Do you notice the problem? Someone with an unknown amount of knowledge of (or interest in) GOD, Christianity, the Bible, your church, etc. just walked into your church, got preached at and then left. They talked to no one except the door greeter who gave them the standard greeting and maybe their kid's Sunday School teachers (assuming they have kids). If they came back, you might never realize it... and if they never came back it's almost certain you would never realize it.
What does it mean?
What am I suggesting? That you, personally, talk to every person you see at your church whom you don't already know? Nah- not really. But could you pick one? If everyone at your church took the time to talk to someone new every Sunday (Wednesday?) what would happen? What would that mean to the countless "visitors" at churches every week?Now, I don't mean that you say, "Hi, how are you?" to one new person and leave it at that. I mean that you genuinely try to get to know them. "Hi, how are you?" is a fine place to start, but don't leave it there. And don't play the introduction game. You know, the one where you say, "Hi, my name is Bob." then wait for them to say their name, shake hands and say, "good to meet you." and walk away. Learning their name, while helpful, doesn't count if that is all you do.
What I mean is really take an interest in this person, this stranger, who is here on your home turf. If someone walked into your home you wouldn't say, "Hi, how are you?" and walk away. You would want to know more about who they were and why they were there! Do the same at your church home! Spend a little time getting to know them. Too much and you risk getting "pushy", too little and they may find no reason to return. But learn their name. Find out where they live. Where they work. What they do. Why they're there. Tell them a little (A LITTLE) about yourself and your family. Invite them to your house for lunch (or dinner). Serve Fillet Mignon or serve cold sandwiches! This is about getting to know someone, NOT entertaining! If your home isn't perfectly spotless it will probably just make you seem more "real" and approachable. Invite them OUT for lunch (dutch treat OR your treat). They'll generally tell you if they can't afford it or just don't want to or have other plans and then you can go to plan B or just leave it at, "Maybe next time!" If you really can't do lunch with them, then just spend 10 minutes or so getting to know them... and try to remember!
And if they find their way back within the next month or so, don't worry about the fact that you can't remember their first name(s). Just say, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name(s), mine is____." Ask them how they are doing. Tell them you are glad to see them back. Ask about specific things they told you last time.
Understand that these may be "unbelievers." Understand that they may not believe the same things you do and that they may have some ideas that, to you, seem strange or flat out wrong. That does not make them less human and that doesn't mean GOD loves them any less. They should never hear judgement from you. They should never hear condemnation. You will preach by your lifestyle (like you do all week long at work or school, or wherever you spend your days) and when you have built a real relationship you will better be able to discuss these topics from a place of genuine love and care.
What do you think?
I believe more "unbelievers" could be won by believers taking a real interest in them and trying to build real relationships with them than by any other method.And from a believer's perspective- If ever I walked into a church and people treated me the way I've just outlined- I would be fairly certain I'd found my new church home and would strive to build relationships within that church and also with visitors to my new home.
What about you? When was the last time you were "Church shopping?" What do you think you would want to experience if you went to a new church?
And finally I'll leave you with this though from Hebrews 13:
"1 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it."
-Pensive Kayla
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